45. Lord, am I it ?
Over the months and now years of my uploading this theophany a recurring pattern emerged. My curious mind would stumble across an odd bit of information, often wrapped into numbers or names. I deciphered it and had to decide what to do with it. Should I just ignore it or was there a task to be performed. Many times I struggled with doubts about the value of my discoveries and if, indeed they were from God. I followed my instinct, when I felt urged to act. If it were my own mind playing tricks, I would lose nothing, except my reputation. On many occasions I realized much later, how profound the revelations were. In those moments my faith was strengthened and I was glad to having obeyed the still small voice.
A pattern also emerged in people’s reaction to my online publicizing my walk with God. No matter how extreme, sensational and bizarre my experiences were, direct response was so far nil. I had long given up on receiving an email or two, saying: “You’re totally up the creek” or “Good on you mate, keep it coming.” Communication between my supporters, if indeed I had a few, took place as before at a mysterious, coded level. The platform, however, where this took place, was not only registration plates on the road, but via the newspapers, radio or even television.
For example, not long after uploading the previous chapter, where I gave my interpretation of ‘Fahren he it 911’, I overheard one of my favourite radio hosts mention the little known fact that in the USA, a state’s capitol is often one of the smaller cities. Chapter 43 in my book I titled ‘Tall has C’, a play on words for the capitol of Florida, Tallahassee.
Other codes came in the mail, even junk mail. My wife had received a letter from a Government Department addressed to “Elisable Fisher”. The missing ‘c’ fitted in with the strange Christian name, which took my fancy. My diary asks: “Will she see it?” I could clearly read – “EL is able, see?” This clever bit of inspiration, telling my whole story in one misspelled name, was a stroke of genius. Who said public servants lack imagination? Newspaper ads also were a great source for messages with a meaning.
I read a large, illustrated advertisement in our daily newspaper. The previous chapter I finished by asking the question: “What is it?” In a clever use of two letters a Motor Company was presenting their Model ‘TI’. The way the two letters were printed, a capital T in black and a small ‘i’ in red print, gave me a message too significant to ignore. This was a time, when I probably would have preferred the option of a mental illness.
At other times my outside the box brain re-made words into messages. Revival, the seven letter word used to describes waking up to God’s message, came to me one morning as, Re: viva L = ‘It’s about life, love.
This brings to mind a minor incident that happened at least three years ago. It was after I had recently recovered from my mental breakdown. On the way out of church I shared a thought with our pastor, a thought I woke up with that morning.
“If we pray, send revival, oh Lord, and begin it in me, we may get proud, if indeed revival happens, to think it all started with me. There is a song expressing this prayer and the words should be changed.”
I had heard about the book “The Da Vinci Code”, which supposedly was a bestseller, when first published. I wondered what I should call my coded system of using letters, numbers and syllables, with the option of jumbled spelling or mixing a foreign language into it?
Let me remind the reader at this point that I never had sat down and invented this code. It naturally developed over a number of years, as God opened my eyes, playing with words or phrases. The change of ‘a’ to ‘o’ in the word law produced low. Someone saying positively, I can, was in my books an Icon. The more I uncovered this unofficial code, the more fun I had with it. Gradually, other people caught on and started using this code to convey messages.
One day as I was contemplating, why people were talking to me in this veiled, coded fashion, instead a plain English, I came up with two reasons: Firstly, had not God himself started this way of communicating with us? Did not HE first alert me to the strange connection that my Suzuki Registration Number 228 (Joel 2,28) was the same Verse (Joel 3,1) as that of my Mitsubishi, Number 301, in the German Bible?
Wasn’t HE the one that made me see an uncanny similarity between two names of convicted criminals, Lindy & Liddy? I had asked, what if both are innocent? The letters N and D became a code. It was astounding to see, how it surfaced. At the time the radio station I listened to, the one I first alerted to my hunch about Liddy/Lindy, was called 5 DN. Another station I regularly listened to was called 5 AN.
After naming the book you are reading, it came to me one day, how peculiar that three out of the five words in the title of this book, end in ND. I did not plan this. I am not that clever. I believe my unseen friend inspired me.
Did not HE arrange that a boss, who had caused me much harm at work, had the identical surname and Christian name, as that of a young man, who would be of great assistance to me? Did not God allow it that I would have a stint in a mental hospital, otherwise I would never have met this person? Wasn’t it a God-incidence that the church we met at was at Enfield (N-field)? It was obvious for all to see, HE was there all the time.
Wasn’t God behind the co-incidence of the letters P & L? Every driver in Australia starts learning as L-driver and progresses to P-driver. Two key figures with the initials PL play a big role in the early part of my autobiography. Likewise, wasn’t it God who arranged the letters “all c” to feature in my website and later took on great meaning, in more ways than one?
The second reason, why people may have refrained from questioning the path I had taken and never offered any advise, I found in the scriptures: “Who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct HIM?” (1. Corinthians 2, 16). In my mind I knew that certain people believed that I was ‘HE’. Who indeed would want to question ONE who is inspired by God himself?
My faith in myself was strengthened every time God showed me things and they would make sense. A seemingly insignificant segment I caught on a TV quiz show, is a good example. One of the candidates, David, showed a score of 1550 points. Both data (David and 1550) I could link this directly to a recent upload of my story. In the middle of the show, the quizmaster took a phone call. After receiving brief instructions, he explained that a mistake had been made. David’s score is to increase to 1650.
How could I not recognize the number 1550 plus 1(00) as a code? The phone call to increase David’s score revolved around the question: “In what year were woman emancipated in Australia?” if I understood correctly. What a silly question! As if there was a date set, when an emancipation contract had been signed? It didn’t make sense in any way.
Many such links and connections popped up. They gradually got more complex and extra-ordinary, but when my brain found some sense in it, I stored it for later entry into my diary and/or action. I had to listen very carefully and be persistent, engaging my child-like mind to understand it all. I was constantly in prayer, asking God’s will in all situations.
Again I discovered a parallel to apply in our spiritual life. God’s word holds many messages for those who take it seriously. But many dismiss it quickly, because they don’t understand it. They don’t spend time searching for the truth and never see God’s free offer of love and forgiveness hidden deep within the precious pages.
If I took you across the road from where we live, you would look at a field of grass, mixed with a few weeds. If I asked you, can you see a large cross, you probably would not know what I am talking about. With a casual glance you would not see a cross. But I know, it’s there. In the weeks up to Easter 04 I had created a large, green cross on the dry, hard soil by watering the shape of a large cross (Chapter 28). To see it now, when everything else is green, you will only distinguish it, if you know approximately where it is and look very carefully.
I knew that behind the scenes of my active spiritual life, God was working. HIS cross, HIS ways were not easily visible. I knew HE was with me in this journey and HE would keep HIS promises. I kept asking, searching, digging until I could see it.
My wife, sadly, was one of those, who didn’t dig deep enough into the field of mystery, to become a fan of mine. Her blindness became my greatest stumbling block to progress. We both operated basically under the same paradigm. I would point out incredible co-incidences, which, scientifically, just could not happen by chance. Likewise, she would point out contrary comments from people, such as:
“Try and keep the peace at home” (a comment by our pastor).
“Delusions of grandeur is very common in people with mental problems” (from a program on TV on mental illness).
“Dieter needs some more work”, (a comment by her elderly mother).
None of these labeled me as mental patient. My wife just interpreted them that way, to confirm her belief that I was indeed ill.
Above statements appeared correct and valid. But building her whole case on what she’d heard people say, without seriously searching for God’s truth, was in essence her greatest failure. Our problem came down to the wire in one question: “Either I was mentally deranged, abandoned by God, or my wife was spiritually blind”. This dilemma didn’t diminish my love for her. I became increasingly bemused, and less frustrated about her.
My miracles continued daily; little ones, private ones or big, public ones. After each one I became even more convinced that God was indeed doing something extra-ordinary, something of great significance through me and my family.
Until this crash on Park Tce. Salisbury on 13/08/04, I had not visited accident scenes. I found the name of the child, hit and killed at a bus stop, teasing to my mind -
Sunday Mail 05/09/04
On August 8th, 04 I sent an email to the Family Standards Organisation. I had been surfing their website reading the survey on the candidates for next day’s federal election. Two days later did I uncover an amazing parallel of this email, found in the writing of that day. Again it was in the marvelous 1995 Neukirchener Kalender, I had been reading for about a year and quoted from it many times. Here is the reason for my email:
It had disappointed me that most Liberal Party’s candidates scored a low 53 out of a possible 100 points. One reason, as I saw it, was the question on abortion funding, which was in my opinion one-sided. I believed the low score by the Federal Member for Sturt (I read Trust), the one whose wife I had taught to drive years earlier, did not reflect his true beliefs.
In my email I addressed not only this serious issue, but also made fun of an obvious lark, a deliberate or co-incidental joke. I am not sure which. One candidate in the online-survey, running as candidate in our Prime Minister’s electorate of Bennelong, had rated all his answers as 1 out of a possible 10. This indicated that he either had no opinion, or he gave a very vague answer to each of the 10 questions asked.
Please take note that I only read the information, referred to in the Neukirchener Kalender, two days later.
It's disappointing that most Liberals only scored 53 in your survey.
I noted T. D. and D. F. are exceptions. On question 6, Abortion Funding, I can understand the reservations of Liberals like Chris P. While no laws are in place to stop 'abortion on demand' it would be hypocritical to not allow funding.
One must go with the other.
Had you asked: Would you outlaw abortion and its funding under Medicare? I wonder if a Catholic family man like
Chris would have only scored 2 on Q6? Let's pray the new Government,
(actually, I should say the new/old Government) will make a push in that
Kind regards Dieter
PS I'd like to meet that character Troy Rollo running in Bennelong. He
seems the only one in your survey who scored 1, 1, 1... right through.
You should have included an 11th question, with a 'yes & no' box to tick:
“Do you think sitting on fences for an hour a day ought to be made compulsory
for politicians and clergymen?” Troy would have ticked the - 'yes & no' box.
My Kalender’s comment for October 9th, 95 finished with the three-word question: “Herr, bin ich’s? (“Lord, am I it”. The actual theme was about people, who say yes to a job, but then turn back and don’t do it). My previous upload finished with just this question: Lord am I it?
What struck me also was another link to my PS above. I had made fun of Troy Rollo, who had answered the survey like a real politician - unsure if he’s confused or not. He was ‘sitting on the fence’, saying ‘yes & no’ to all 10 questions. The commentary for Oct. 9th in the 95 Neukirchener Kalender was titled: “Die Ja-sager und die Nein-sager” (literal translation the ‘yes-sayers and the no-sayers’). The scripture reference was Revelation, Chapter 3, 15 and 16).
When I composed above email I had no idea that in the bible reading for the next day I would see two obvious parallels. God’s timing was perfect, as it always was.
The following incident, one of my many miracles I perceived, would not only be timed perfectly, it also led me to a simple but profound three-letter revelation.
Amongst the hundreds of Spam I received every week I opened one, because it had to do with publishing. Clicking through to a link, I happened to come across a story about a man named “Allan Watts”. As I read his life story, (details are irrelevant here) I read that he died in 1973. This meant he died at age 58 years, but no reason for his death was given.
A bell rang inside me. In Chapter 34 of ‘More in Number’ I asked the same question. Why did a prominent family court judge die, aged 59 years and why was no cause of death given anywhere? It didn’t take an Einstein to see a ‘plus one’ connection (58 +1), apart from the obvious similarity. The website-feedback form, which I filled in, asked: Did you find our website informative? I ticked the no-box and gave as explanation:
The reason I did not tick the yes box (Did you find it informative?) is your
story about Allan Watts.
When someone dies at age 58 one should really give the reason, otherwise it
leaves a question hanging in the air.
Kind regards from Adelaide, Australia
PS What did Alan (what's his name) die of in 1973, only aged 58?
The next day I received a reply, but no direct answer to my question, only a few more dates and events of the man’s life story. Two things, however, were rather peculiar. One, the sender’s name, Jim Barnes, and two, the co-incidental timing factor. That same evening, October 11th 04, a popular TV talk show interviewed a guest, a famous rock star, who originated in Elizabeth, ten minutes from here. His name was Jimmy Barnes. I usually watched and enjoyed this weekly program, because it often featured famous people (and some I didn’t know were famous), who had changed their lives for the better.
Later in the program three more names took my fancy, Love, Barrett and Moore, they were miners, not celebrities.
When I saw the two identical names (Barnes, Jim and Jimmy) and the timing I replied by email the next day, Oct. 12th 04:
Subject: There’s always more.
Strange the timing of us touching base? Last night on a
popular talkshow on our ABC the main character interviewed
was "Jimmy Barnes". He is a local boy and made it big in
Rock'n Roll. Had a remarkable turnaround from Alcoholism.
Dieter R. Fischer
Driving Plus, Adelaide
PS There's still more. One guy interviewed after Barnes was a Moore.
Love it, Bob, sorry, Jim.
Allow me to point out two more thoughts, which will take us to an amazing twist at the end. Firstly, it in German translates ‘es’. If I exchange the ‘a’ in Barnes to ‘o’ I imagine that Jim had a very deep message for me, hidden in his surname. To emphasize it his email showed a three-letter word right at the end of his reply.
It just sat there, teasing me. How did it get there? Was it meant to tell me what Jim and others thought about me?
Early one morning, a few days later, I woke up with those three letters on my mind. It came almost automatically – I read those three letters backwards. Isn’t the English language wonderful?
Again, up came my nos.