18. Who will throw the last stone?
Many husbands live a double life. They act the loving husband, father and employee in everyday affairs. In between they spend time and energy, living a life of lies, cheating and making excuses, trying to hide their dark secrets. The most common one is obviously an affair with another woman at work or within a social circle. Constantly juggling half-truths, or downright lies in fear of being found out, must be exhausting.
My case was the complete opposite. I too lived a double life and I also found it very draining. Not because I lied or cheated, but because I wanted everyone to know the truth. My thinking and behaviour was built on facts, which my wife refused to listen to, let alone believe. When this sage began as a harmless bit of fun, I had no idea that it would continue for so long. I expected that she would soon realize her mistake. Alternatively, I would receive some recognition for my work, not necessarily monetary. Neither has happened as of February 2005.
Following the re-election of the Federal Liberal Government in October 04, the Attorney- General in Canberra was asking for submissions on a discussion paper concerning the proposed ‘Family Relationship Centers’. A total of 65 Centres were to be established to deal with family problems before a legal process was initiated.
A lengthy discussion paper was available online, which I perused, but only superficially. It was rather remarkable for that reason that I discovered a word within the pages of the document, which didn’t make sense. I had never heard of the legal term cost orders. Unless I was mistaken, it should have read court orders! I emailed my submission to the Attorney General’s Department in Canberra the day before closing date.
Re: Family Relationship Centers. Why cost orders? Email dated: 13/01/05
Dear Committee Member,
The story of a young man I heard about (I assume it to be true, the parents of the young man concerned told me) is a good example of the injustices of the present system of dealing with separation.
His relationship with a young lady went sour. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Because of this, he was not allowed to see his infant daughter. He spent thousands of dollars on a lawyer, unsuccessfully. The lawyer wanted more money to fight the case, which the young man couldn't afford. Why should he not be allowed access his child, just because he has mental problems? Perhaps those problems were caused by the unfair treatment in the first place? Doctors are quick to label people. This is how they gain new clients to keep their machinery going!
Re: VI Role of lawyers
The recommendation of ‘no lawyers present in hearing a dispute’ I applaud very strongly. It is a step in the direction of justice for all, not only those who can afford the exorbitant fees charged by a dubious profession.
Re: VIII Preventing Separation
Governments can't make a law - you must love your spouse. Churches can and should preach it regularly. The very fact that this issue has become such a problem, is the falling away from biblical standards - no divorce, love overcomes.
The church is in a far better position to educate young couples for marriage. Marriages on biblical principles will last when the storm comes. Anti-Christian paradigms, e.g. If it feels good, do it! (First jumping to bed, when things got sour, running away felt almost as good).
But we love each other! (So they moved in together without commitment; on the first sign of trouble, or a better looking chick at work, and it spelled the end of relationship number 4 and the beginning of number 5). I think you get my drift.
Our grandparents’ values, commitment, marriage based on genuine love, not puppy love, if it's worth having, it's worth waiting for etc. have served us well, until the humanistic, anti-God spirit took hold of Western Nations and got us into the mess we're in.
The only way for a better future is a working together between Church and State, not a separation. This involves a long hard look at the problems caused by mixing religions together, especially those who insist that theirs is the right one and all my family must follow it - or they will (in extreme cases) literally die.
I prefer the Christian faith that lets people choose the way of love and forgiveness.
Re: XV Less adversarial process in court
The idea of no-fault divorce (or should I say - default divorce after 12 months separation) solved nothing. Family Relationship Centers are a step in the right direction. But it must be realized that sometimes there is fault by one party, who needs to recognize their wrongs. This takes specially trained counselors with much insight, common sense and wisdom.
Telling lies about ones spouse is a common weapon to hurt. Disputing couples should be made aware that telling lies to pay back or to win a case would be regarded as criminal offense. Truth will win in the end. Lies only hurt and lead to more strife. As an outside the box idea, I'd make every couple write a Two-page-essay, what attracted them to the other person originally. This would make them re-view the other person's good qualities (and perhaps change their minds).
Re: XVII Community Education
If an advertising campaign is conducted I would like to see one basic principle shouted out loud and clear: If children were asked about the parents relationships - they would (except in extreme abusive situations) want the parents to stay together and sort out their differences. Marriages and families come out stronger after weathering a storm together.
Please don't use the slogan - Separation is now much easier!
Instead - Our children are our future, let’s give them our best, even if it hurts.
Or - Life is Give and Talk! Talk it through with us!
Dieter Rolf Fischer
On January 23rd 05 our son returned from Sydney to Adelaide to prepare an extended overseas holiday with his girlfriend. Ben always buys ‘The Australian’ newspaper, which he did the next day. Casually I flicked through the pages briefly and as before, when Ben buys the Australian, it leads to something.
An article about ‘3 suspected deaths in Victoria last year’, possibly caused by the deceased handling potting mix, caught my eye. The rest of the article was also written in a very hazy manner. Why wait for weeks or months to report a possibility, a suspected assumption, which has not yet been confirmed? I found the report irritating, because it focused more on the unknown than on any discovered facts. Why waste prime space on page 3 of this major newspaper.
The subject matter was potting mix. How strange that I had mentioned potting mix in a recent upload (Chapter 7). Another word in the article, longbeachea, a virus spread in potting soil, sounded interesting. Blind Freddy would know that the word contains the name of the main beach in Los Angeles. But the real twist came at then end. I only became aware as I was writing the email. The surprise was just what I needed for the post script:
Subject: Glad to be alive - Email 25/01/05
Last week I carried a 25 kg bag of potting mix on my shoulders from a store to the car. (Hey, today is the 25th!!). Had I known about the deaths associated with this product (The Australian, 24/1/05, P 3) I may have used a tolley. Thankfully, Minister Pike and James Madden, I'm still alive.
Then again, those 3 deceased , apart from dealing with potting mix in the days before their deaths, may have handled dogpoo, kissed their spouses, had long conversations on their mobile phones etc. Could any of these have contributed to their deaths (some spouses' kisses? Who would know?). As James writes, the causes of deaths had not yet been confirmed. Perhaps the report ought to have waited until then?
It is hard to imagine a nice phrase like 'longbeach' making its way into potting mix bacteria. Longbeach Cigarettes yes, they can kill. Maybe the papers ought to highlight the dangers of smoking, which has been confirmed, it kills thousands every year, and not report about three possibilities, which now could send the sales of potting mix down the gurgler.
The other point is, what happens after the potting mix is in the pot? Where does the longbeachea go? Is it still dangerous? Here is a case for plastic flowers and plants. Safe, long lasting, if not everlasting, saving water, can't transmit deceases etc. Long live plastic.
PS Did you know, when you printed that story on page 3 on 24/1/05, you could be causing some numbers-people more pain than the longbeach bacteria - chills, headaches, shortness of breath. Thank God, numbers don't bother me.
Cycling near my house I noticed something odd looking and blue on the footpath . I went back, just in case there was an interesting 'message'. It was this lettering set with only the letters JOH. The price was $ 1.50 at GOLO. Would Mr. Da Ninci think this was interesting?
Around the middle of January 05 a spade of alleged rock throwing attacks was reported in the Adelaide metro area. Initially the attacks occurred in the South, but later also in the North. For a whole week the attacks were headline News. On Saturday 22nd, unbeknown to me, the rock-thrower-story filled the front-page. One young man, allegedly, was fighting for his life after being hit by a rock, thrown from a vehicle coming from the opposite direction.
His plight and the anguish of his girlfriend were understandable. I was annoyed at the degree of media attention the story was receiving. The culprit responsible would have relished being the focus of attention in Adelaide that weekend, thanks to the Advertiser Newspaper. I also looked in vain for the fate of any other victims. Out of 20 attacks I expected more than one injury and how these attacks affected them.
Without realizing how perfectly timed it was, I emailed a group a contacts - 2 politicians, 4 journalists and Rita, from the Family Standards Organisation that Saturday morning 22/1/05. It was a good excuse to let all know I was still alive, (despite having handled potting mix) and to bring to everyone’s attention more serious issues waiting to be addressed.
Subject: Who will throw the last stone? Email dated 22/01/05:
Will one of you do me a favour? Our local press may listen to you more than they do to me. We in Adelaide are tired of hearing about the twit who allegedly throws rocks at cars. One young victim has been in the news all week, young de Twit, and his grieving girlfriend also.
Allegedly, there has been 20 such incidences, but we only hear about one victim. Didn't anyone else get injured?
Can you believe, on Thursday even our Premier himself was on TV about this rock thrower? On Friday the Police Commissioner appeared on Radio and TV.
OK it's serious, but I regard drug pedaling, unsolved murders, corruption, innocent people in jail, plus many other injustices more important. Mr. Rann vowed to fight crime after being elected. Did he mean naughtly little boys throwing rocks? I wished he'd concentrate on the big-ticket items and not throw in red herrings.
It amazes me how much journalism has changed. 30 percent (just to use a figure) in any report tells us what took place, 60 percent tells us how much the incident affects the victims, relatives and friends. The other 90 percent is telling us how angry, sad, compassionate or what other negative emotion we ought to feel in response.
I'd rather receive detailed information, all true facts, and then I want to make up my own mind who I think is guilty, to what degree and how I should feel about it.
Radio is probably the least of the three evils (Print, Screen and Waves). Thank God for Google.
Dieter R. Fischer
PS I know what you're thinking - 30+60+90 is bull.... No it isn't. The 80 is all bull.
The injured victim’s surname was Wit. Please forgive me for inserting a T, if you really exist and are reading this. On a TV news item (yes, the case is still unsolved and on our screen some nights) I read in large letters, behind the newsreader – WHO is the stone-thrower? Da Ninci would love it.
I cannot recall inserting the extra letter ‘L’, to read naughtly, on purpose. Still, naught-lie would perfectly describe the essence of my email.
If anyone thinks ‘people innocently in jail’ was hinting at the pedophile Magistrate Peter Liddy, serving a 25-year jail sentence, is on the right track. My questions regarding the inaccuracies in an accuser’s victim-impact-statement, plus further anomalies I saw, had never been answered, let alone dealt with. I may as well have asked those questions in Chinese. Or was it because whistle-blowing bloggers already had a reputation for drawing attention to themselves by making outrageous statement? As with every segment in society, the bad spoil it for the genuine.
Strange timing – in between editing above paragraphs I watched Channel Seven’s 6pm TV News (16/02/05). During the first two items I yelled at the TV set – Corruption!! The first item was about the “stashed cash” affair. Some public servants (with or without politicians knowledge is still unclear) stashed away surplus funds to be used for social programs at a later date. Instead, some money was allegedly used for attending “conferences”, staying at luxury hotels on the Gold Coast and other places. One expense was for over $ 3000 for a two-night stay.
The second item reported the long delay in court-cases being heard. The TV station showed the names of the main judges and their refusal to comment. It makes me think that when I interrupted a church service in April 1999 and tried to tell the people that there is corruption in high places in Adelaide, I may not have been far wrong. The poor are crying out for justice!! !
A further timing factor seems co-incidental. Last week CNN journalist Eason Jordan resigned over statements made in Davos, Switzerland. The cause for his resignation could be called: “Blogger-pressure”, the perfect anti-dote for media-pressure. Thanks be to God, Mr. Gates and Mr. Google.
Another person in jail is Henry Keogh. He was found guilty of killing his fiancé and trying to collect a million dollar insurance payout (Chapter 41). Channel Seven had conducted some investigation and raised serious questions. The prisoner’s mothers had said publicly on television, how happy she felt to finally see justice for her son after ten years. She died not long afterwards (of natural causes, I think) and the whole case went very quite again.
There were other people, who right at the beginning, went to great length to defend Henry Keogh. One lady appeared on television at the time, asking for justice in the Keogh case. She felt so strong that an injustice took place she hired a huge semi-trailer and had in large letters written on the side – FREE KEOGH. When a person goes into that length to give a message she has something to say and wanted to be heard.
I haven’t seen or heard much lately about the Keogh case. Detectives must be busy tracing the stone thrower before he injures more victims. Time and resources must be stretched to the limit to further investigate a murder case?
And what’s more – a man has been tried, found guilty and is serving his years in jail. Why bother any longer?If he did it or not – Who cares?